Bad Blogger...

I know I have been a bad blogger :(  I thought I had posted something and then realized that I actually lost it into the oblivion that is the web world or possibility posted it somewhere else who knows!  It was this really great piece about patience and odds and the lottery.  In many ways that is how trying to get pregnant can feel like... like planning to win the lotto!  Craziness.

And then we had this last month, and well this last month was not so great and I guess I hid away because of it.  A very dear Pastor of mine once said he always knew when something was wrong with someone in the congregation because they stopped coming to church.  I guess I didn't show up because I was frustrated and didn't want to have to share the bad news of another failed attempt.  It was a crazy month emotionally as well with lots of ups and downs.  Well I invited you on this journey so I shouldn't leave you out in the cold!  It is you my dear friends and family (and dare I say random reader?) that will help me through this and be there with me to cry and to cheer.  So hear goes nothing!

I am not really sure what happened but all evidence points to: either not ovulating at all or I ovulated very early.  In a way it was very sad, like I lost a very important moment.  The opportunity was just gone, particularly if I did ovulate and I somehow missed it. I admittedly freaked out and started doing 3 OPK (ovulation predictor kits) a day thinking that maybe it was late, or that I hadn't timed it just perfect. This lasted until day 17.  For perspective every other month except one a positive OPK came on day 13.  And if you have never bought an OPK let me tell you they are expensive.  Seven tests run you about $30.00.  I scan the papers for sales and coupons.  When really I have been fine doing one a day for the last 5 months and catching my LH surge without any issues.  So, I might have gone overboard.  I just couldn't believe that I wasn't getting a smiley face.  (a smiley face is what appears when you have a positive OPK, its very cute).

It happens sometimes, especially as we get older, that we just don't ovulate.  But alas we are in a new cycle and looking forward to another try.  If this one doesn't work I may consider kicking it up a notch to  IVF.

As I stare down my 34th birthday next week, I so hoped I would be pregnant by now.  But I am grateful that I have someone who loves me and is 20 times more patient than I am (in this area, cleaning out the litter box is a completely different story) and is zen about the whole thing.  She keeps me calm and reminds me about the statistics.  My favorite when I entered in another cycle without a pregnancy into my nifty little app (oh yes, there is an app for this too!!) was that it takes a healthy heterosexual couple (translation: lots of fresh sperm on hand) on average of 3-6 months.  Well I am technically only now on try number 4 over the last 5 months.  So it's not so bad.

I have a theory:  Those who got pregnant on the first try?  They were trying they just didn't count those months because they thought they weren't really trying and everyone else did IVF.  : o)~

Here we go again!  May this month bring a happy egg, doing a happy dance, out to play.

Thanks everyone for your love and support.  Cheers!

Junelle

Tracking Progress

I have added two items to my blog to help everyone track where I am in the process.  The first is a Tracker at the top of my page.  It will count to until either my expected ovulation date, this is usually the day after I do my IUI, and then it will countdown to when I will take a pregnancy test or start my period, you know, whichever comes first :).

Also, I added a new Timeline page (see the tab at the top) to my blog that succinctly wraps up the "adventure" to this point. Hope this helps keep you all up to date!  

If you don't mind me asking...

Of course I don't!  I am happy to share exactly what this is all about.

The topic of "how" is always the awkward part of the conversation when I talk about having a baby.  What  exactly does it involve?  Well it might help by defining what all of the the different terms are that you will hear.

Generally speaking this group of terms are considered artificial insemination, whether from a known or unknown donor or fresh or frozen sperm.  These may be used with or without fertility medications depending on specific needs.

ICI - Intracervical Insemination
 This involves placing (usually with a small needleless syringe) the sperm inside the vagina into/superclose to the cervix.  The cervix is the opening that separates your vagina from the uterus.  Hey, that might seem TMI but I didn't know exactly what it was until I started this process myself.   This is the process that most closely describes how you can do it at home.

IUI - Intrauterine Insemination
This one involves "washing" the sperm so that it is only sperm and not ejaculate.  The sperm are then placed using a syringe attached to a thin catheter directly into the uterus.  Many women take advantage of this option before trying in vitro if fertility issues are unexplained, or for example in order for sperm to travel through the cervix to the uterus a woman must have fertile mucus.  If she does not the sperm are most likely being killed before they ever even make it to the uterus. Another example could be sperm that don't live long enough to make the swim through the cervix.  This is the method that I am doing at the doctor's office.  It has a slightly higher success rate than ICI.


IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
This is when the woman's eggs are removed and then fertilized outside of the body.  The fertilized eggs are then reintroduced.  This is by far the most invasive and expensive procedure.

There you go!  Now you know.

Round #1 for me was ICI at home
Round #2 IUI at the doctor office with an hCG trigger shot that made me bat shit crazy
Round #3 IUI at the doctor office this morning, without the trigger shot just waited for the good old fashion positive Ovulation Predictor Kit and other signs.

Now?  Cross your fingers and wait!  I look forward to more of your questions.  Remember you can email them to me at mjschrum657@gmail.com.

Viva Las Vegas!

Well, good ole' Aunt Flo visited this morning.  :(  Bummer, BUT there is always is upside to everything.  The silver lining to this dark, ugly, cloud is that I have a vacation planned to Las Vegas this month, specifically I leave on Wednesday.  So, now I don't have to worry about the traveling, eating something maybe I shouldn't and if I would like to indulge in an adult beverage I can.

By the time I get back, I will go back in for another round!  So keep the Baby Dust coming folks!

Viva Las Vegas!!

Me Crazy? Possibly, but this doesn’t help!

Most women I know can tell you they are about to start their period, usually because there is key symptoms that clue you in paired with knowing when your period is due. 

If I cry for no reason, almost guaranteed that I will start my period the next morning. 

It usually goes like this.  Cute Coca Cola Polar Bear ad comes on TV. My throat tightens a little bit, my face swells and gets red, and tears sneak out of the corners of my eyes.  Why? Because they are just so cute and touching!! (BLAH - I mean really??? The rest of the time I don’t even care about those silly cartoon bears) and promptly the Warrior Princess will laugh.  Because she knows!! 

Crying because the sky is blue?  That’s just one symptom of a long line and lucky for me I suffer from several of them:

Cramps

Mood Swings and Stress

Swollen Tender Breasts

Fatigue

Food Cravings (I’m sorry did I just eat a whole pizza??)

Bloating

Headaches

Whew!  That’s quite a list, scary part is it isn’t complete. 

Guess what?  These just so happen to be the early symptoms of pregnancy also!  Here are a few more:

Most obvious – missed period BUT you can still have something called implantation bleeding.

Nausea

Frequent Urination

Elevated Body Temprature.

Needless to say, it can be crazy making!  As I head closer to taking another pregnancy test and I battle with these different symptoms, I just don’t know what to think of what my body is telling me.  If you have been pregnant, did you notice anything different before getting a positive pregnancy test and if so what? 

July 4^th here we come!!

The Countdown has begun

This is what my life has become, all the authors warned me about it in the bazillion books I read, breaking your life into two week cycles.

Waiting to ovulate
Waiting to test

Seriously, this is enough to drive a normal person nuts, but an already slightly off kilter, unmedicated person?  Watch out! ;0)

Everyone has that story:  they know someone who from the stress of trying to conceive couldn't.  Then after years of trying and finally adopting they get pregnant.  There is no solid research that confirms this, but it is reasonably to believe that if you are in constant stress you are less likely to conceive.  Stress is your bodies flight or fight response in constant motion.  If your body is in this mode it probably won't want to spare resources to create a new life. Now, I tend to run pretty intense anyway so this has been great practice for me in balance (Cynthia you must be proud to hear me say that).

And if it just so happens to have resulted in a pedicure (can't get those at the salon when your pregnant because of all of the icky chemicals) and an amazing massage to help in that balance.  So be it!  Small price to pay, I say!!

Speaking of which, I am going to do a little plug here for my massage therapist.  She got me through my car accident and now she will help me through this.  It is amazing what a massage can do for you!!  I wanted to be completely zen before I went into the doctor's office.  Her name is Hannah Keefer at Le Chat Noir in Tacoma, http://www.massagebyhannah.massagetherapy.com/ tell her I sent you!  No she isn't paying me and hasn't offered me a kick back, I just like her that much.  I often drool, it's kind of embarrassing.

My point is that for some reason it has taken trying to get pregnant to remind me to take care of myself and reduce stress in my life.  Don't wait for something like this, take care of yourself today.  It's totally worth it!!

20 Questions

As I update you on the happenings and scheduled events there are bound to be questions that come up that would not occur to me on my own. Inquiring minds want to know and I would love to tell! So, if you have a question send me an email at mjschrum657@gmail.com and I will answer in a post. Don't worry I will keep you anonymous but I might assign you your own nifty pseudonym.
I am pretty much an open book or I would not be blogging so this helps me to know what you want to hear about.

Thanks everyone!